What is abuse?

 

If you are experiencing any of the following, you may need help right away: 

• Physical or sexual assault such as:

  • Threats

  • Pushing

  • Shoving

  • Hitting

  • Being forced into a sexual act

  • Not being asked for your consent before sexual activity

• If your partner is:

  • Possessive

  • Jealous

  • Trying to control you mentally, emotionally, or financially

 

Then you might need help right away. These are all forms of abuse.

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Find Options for Immediate Support
 

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Develop a Safety Plan

 

Safety if you stay:

• Call 911 if you or your children are in danger

• Tell someone you trust to call the police if they think you are in danger

• Call a program against abuse, a counselling agency, or a crisis line

• Keep the telephone number of a shelter handy and make a plan in case you have to leave

 

Safety if you leave:

• Consider where you can go that is safe

  • To a friend or relative’s house

  • To a shelter, safe home, motel, or hotel

  • To another town or city

• If you need help finding a safe place, call a counsellor

 

Planning to leave:

• Go over your safety plan with a friend or counsellor to plan the safest way to leave

• Obtain legal advice about getting a peace bond or restraining order to keep your abuser away from you

• Call Social Services for information on financial assistance

• Put some money away in a safe place

• Get legal advice regarding the custody of your children

• Take your children with you or leave them with someone safe

• Leave an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, and extra clothes with someone you trust

 

Plan for safety:

• Remember that leaving can be dangerous

• Ensure safety with a court order

• Keep your court order with you at all times; leave extra copies at work, with a friend, in your car, etc.

• Call the police every time your abuser breaks the court order

 

For financial assistance:

• To apply for financial assistance, call the BC Ministry of Social Development and Social Innovation at 1-866 866-0800

• If you are already on assistance, you can call your worker directly for practical help

 

Safety once you are on your own:

• Get legal advice about custody, immigration, and housing issues

• Tell your neighbours and landlord that your abuser no longer lives with you

• Tell them to call the police if they see your abuser near your home

• Ask your landlord if you can change the locks on your doors and windows

• Practice a safety plan with your children

• Tell the school or daycare who has permission to pick up your children (give them a copy of your Family Court papers if you have them)

• Get an unlisted telephone number (there may be no charge if you tell them you are at risk)

• If you are thinking of returning to your abuser, talk to someone about your safety

• Think about joining a women’s support group or doing one-on-one counselling

• Tell family, friends, and neighbours that you have a court order